Yesterday, I did a quick 10min doodle of my dragon-self. It's the first piece in years that I've taken from start to finish without some kind of duress (e.g. 'it's homework'). And I've been asking myself why. The easy answer would be that developing narcolepsy stole my drive (it screws with salience/reward signalling), but I kinda think that my self-confidence fell into a pit during the time between symptoms & diagnosis, and life events have kept digging it deeper since.
So, where do I get a /rest/?
@Jssra My entire life has been a sequence of “it’s always *something*” and rest usually feels like something I forcefully carve out to the detriment of other things and people I care about.
I don’t think of myself as keeping on top of everything I need to or meeting my needs fully or those of people who depend on me, and it’s hard to stop and rest, not least because I can “stop” but don’t experience “rest” for more than maybe a couple of hours if I’m lucky
