“I’m a failure unless the people around me are okay” is not a healthy way to live. “My job is to help others and get out of the way so actual people can have better lives” is not a healthy attitude to have. And it is genuinely not my attitude - but I also harbor this fear that if I dropped it I’d become someone monstrous. But I genuinely want people around me to thrive; I will not become a monster by learning that doing my thing is not in opposition to others’ well-being, and usually supports it
@Jacel I wish I had more skill at living accordingly. I will keep working on it.