Sub-tooting Discourse
Positive or joking sub-toots aside... what even is the right thing to do in response to a negative sub-toot directed at you?
They hurt to see- especially coming from friends, and if they get popular they turn into something incredibly cruel in a way unique to these sorts of platforms.
I get that everyones' timelines are their own, but it's incredibly disheartening to see those ultra-toxic elements of Twitter culture repeated here. Didn't we come here to escape that?
Sub-tooting Discourse
@mawr There is no “right” way to approach sub-tooting in my experience. I’ve found some ways that work situationally:
- Direct but cautious confrontation
- DMs to the person in question asking for clarification
- Muting or Unfollowing a person
Ultimately a sub-toot is a call to sit in the fire with someone. They’re upset and they want someone to share in said upset with them but don’t know or feel comfortable sharing their anger publicly.
Sub-tooting Discourse
@KoBunny @mawr I think you've hit on something important here that deserves further unfolding. Often that fire takes the form of fireballs flung at whomever chooses to show up, and I've been the target of undeserved anger enough for one lifetime. I'm quite happy to help people process their emotions, but not when I'm being made the _target_ of them, as distinct from the _receptacle_. I'll accept almost any expression of personal pain, but none of lashing out in kind.
Sub-tooting Discourse
@literorrery @mawr not wanting to be lashed out at is perfectly understandable. You’re allowed to walk away from someone who is subtooting you. Sometimes you need to do so for your own mental health.
That’s why I say there’s no one correct way to approach the subtoot. Only situational ones that take your own mental well-being into account.
