So like, I let my driver's license expire, stupid of me I know. But Texas license renewal requires viewing an hour of.... okay some "scared straight" garbage.

Join me on this journey. I can't be the only one to suffer. The production quality of this.... is... magical.

Also some like really REALLY specific examples that feel very.... choice.

17 minutes. First Video.

Did you know, distracted driving is BAD?
And you shouldn't do it?
OH MY GODS I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED THANK YOU.

Also did you know texas cops have to deal with --VIOLENT GANGS--- and do ----DRUG RAIDS---- and this matters to you because the cops who do those are totes the ones pulling you over and that's okay and correct and the way it should work?

Nice propaganda piece there, friends.

So what's the next 10 minutes of the video?

oh... oh no.

He's a white boy.
He's a quarterback.
Interviews with his mom, girlfriend, dad, and friends.

You guessed it, texting and driving. hit by a truck.

Now this is just me. But this will be the first time in many I'll say maybe these fucks should have hired an actual editor for this. Because man this video could have been punchy at like 5 minutes, not 17.

TL;DR:
Canned lines about don't drive distracted.

Oh... oh no there's a questionaire to make sure I was paying attention.

Cool, nah, glancing down for 1 second driving 65 makes you go 100feet, not 50, good try to catch me ther-

"Where does AJ’s dad find AJ’s phone?" Oh. Oh you wanted me to be paying attention to the crying man about his dead fucking son and how much blood there was?

Behind the dashboard motherfucker but wow, that's FUCKED UP OF YOU TEXAS.

On to video 2.

21 minutes. FML.(currently paused at 10 in)

The first 30 seconds in, I knew. This was going to be about a stroller being hit by a car on a crosswalk.

The fucking montage of the baby home video with the dad talking about how wonderful this baby was. Second coming of jesus here, you gotta know, just the fucking BEST baby.

Car ran a yellow, baby died, but we get some.....interesting points coming up here.

See, They follow this up with a reenactment.

Thing is, even at the start it's fucked because it keeps cutting to a pair of like highschool grad girls. In the real story, the driver was male. And instead of it being a close yellow, that light was red for like a solid 5 seconds before the car showed up.

Now film design 101, I wish I'd caught screengrabs. WE'VE GONE FULL ON BABY SHOE WITH TASTEFUL DAB OF BLOOD AND EVERYTHING FOLKS.

Oh btw, the whole time from light turning red to the video HARD CUTTING to a cop standing next to a car just talking?

Music. But this music sounds like it should be... I dunno. The last few soldiers look up at the sky as friendly fighters swoop in. If the battle of Gondor was a ww2 movie, this music would play at dawn.

Btw, passanger teen? totes dead. baby? dead.

Thing is the way it's shot, the dad is standing at the passanger window, screaming over the corpse of her friend, holding the body of his daughter screaming "look what you've done" to a girl making a surprisingly good bit of acting at being in total shock.

AGAIN, THIS SHIT IS A NON-FAITHFUL REENACTMENT OF A CAR TRYING TO SPEED TO CATCH A YELLOW BEFORE IT TURNED RED.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING PUTTING YOUR STROLLER IN THAT INTERSECTION DAD?

unpausing now, 10 minutes left of this, questionnaire, another video (probably a similar 15-20 minute range) questions, then I'm DONE THIS HELL.

Doctor Montage aaannnddd....
"Drunk driving is also distracted driving" OH BOY let's see how this is going to be quietly but noticably bigotted :D

At least the music is-
"My friends at school used to call him Smiley"

OH gods I need to be drunk to watch this.

Oh good, 'Smiley' isn't dead, but bound to a wheelchair and unable to speak. We've already heard about his suicide attempts. And his dreams of like, just being alive normally.... oh we never actually hear anything about the car. He was just a passenger.

............oh good we're now on a montage of millennials about phones again. Like guys, you couldn't even stick to booze for a solid guilt trip?

Those Millenials? All talked with an empty chair to the right, then we hear from a woman who lost both her parents to a accident caused by a distracted driver.

And we get to watch all those 20somethings have to try to repeat why they use their phones to her face.

Congrats. 39 minutes of video later, you have something kind impactful.

This was tailed with a few clips that clearly were cut off the end of commercials because narrator and music hard jumps.

"
What caused Baby David's death?
Killed by a drunk driver
Distracted driver
Walking across the street with his dad
"

BITCH I SEE YOU TEXAS I SEE YOU DOING THIS SHIT IT'S 2 and 3 but you fucks aren't going to let me say 3. You fucks.

And here's the next video. 15:44. Blissfully short. Oh boy. Not pressed play but I bet this time it's actually a drunk driving story.

"Texting while driving is the most common form of distracted driving"
Welp. Guess we're gonna do a ride along with a Missouri cop. For a Texas video.... OH GOOD, SEATBELTS on a highway.

They like talking about dead kids.
"cap and gown in the car, she'd graduate the next day" NICE. GOOD. COOL. NICE.

Oh good, long held camera on her sister, crying over having texted her "yeah", because checking it killed her.
FUCKING NICE.

Why is every dead kid a fucking angel who lights up their whole community? Like it really pisses me off that death erases the humanity (and flaws) of people.

I lost someone in my friend circle in highschool. I still remember him as the rich kid who had a new car waiting for him before he'd even started learning to drive, and cheated at Warhammer (but people borrowed his armies so no one called him on it.)

She's not even dead. She's disabled now, but everything about this, including about how her family was talking about her, like she died.

FSS people she's not fucking dead. We hear her talking. Don't fucking treat her this way.

Also now there's this guy, yes that flag waves. Yes he's being recorded by like a 40 dollar mic
There was a sword-shwing noise when his name card popped up.