Thinking about it part of what used to be crushing about cons/the weekend ending was feeling that from being special and wanted I'd be back to someplace where I was a disposable utility capable of getting things wrong but never right.
Age and experience softens all this with optimism (I'm no more or less special and valid outside the con, no matter how I'm treated) and pessimism (I can't reasonably look to a day job for emotional support).