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CPTSD, job stuff 

When I was a kid, a promotion when I was in 3rd grade or so meant my Dad no longer traveled so much. This meant he was very concerned about my development and tutored me after school, which meant what felt like hours cranking on math especially when I wanted to be outside or read books. I suck at both being trapped in one place and math, so my Dad's tendency to get frustrated and scream at me about how stupid I was, did not make this experience more positive. (Consistently in my childhood, my folks were sitting on a musical protege/budding artist/humanities nerd/athlete and what they wanted was a math/science genius, and I'm not.)

And then you get having to stay after school as punishment, as another bad association.

I'm finding that my job *constantly* requiring me to dump in OT presses those buttons about "I don't get to live my life, some adult has decided it's vital I be stuck here doing this required stuff." In part, because if I've been dumping energy nonstop into work I don't really have the spoons to back up and say hey, this is just my buttons being pushed.

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