Okay, I was able to get the WA DOT site to accept a direct payment from my bank rather than either card I tried, but not after losing my temper, which is a sign that this REALLY hit childhood buttons. Hopefully this is done and they will send me my tabs.
So now I need to step back from the feeling that I am a completely terrible thing which justifies anything that might be done to punish me.
Before getting caught in that particular spiral, I made sweet & sour fish, and meatballs, and put up some red onion pickles. I never thought I'd enjoy cooking so much, but it's a good compromise between adulthood (save money, food on hand) and self indulgence (making something).