For a while there, I lived in what I consider the nicest part of the Bay Area, the greater world situation wasn't the hell it became in 2020, and most importantly there was rent control in place, all of which meant a little more resources to deal with personal tragedies and past history; all of which meant I was near at least two yearly conventions to look forward to. And then in 2018 the rent control went away which forced a move, a hoped for job didn't come through, and emotional/physical fallout from 2017 slammed home.

Even though I really shouldn't feel nostalgic for this part of my life (I'd just come out of some truly terrible stuff, and some fairly bad things happened while I lived in Alameda), I can't help thinking about aging, inflation, stuff open after 7 PM, friends elsewhere, and how I don't think I'm ever really going to get to cons again AND ugh, it's a mess.