gotta say "be with your parents, even if your relationship was difficult with them, when they are dying, because that will help you process your feelings about being merely a speck in the ongoing swirling vortex of existence" was not the advice I was looking for.
@Leucrotta I know someone that this is working for. Her father is slipping into dementia and I guess the new memories of being with him are overwriting the old memories or something.
I don't have the patience for that. I haven't spoken to my mother in years and I can't see that changing. I don't feel that blood gives anyone an iron-clad contract of relationship with me. If they suck, they suck and I don't need them.
@GraySpots I truly want to be there for them as needed. They don’t deserve either my unqualified love, OR abandonment. As I age it could be profoundly useful to be with them for existential and practical knowledge both. But I was hoping for more tips on HOW to do this difficult thing. I wish my Mom weren’t in frequent pain and could move more, but she still has no interest in who I really am, she snaps at me and orders me around, and surviving memories include being yelled at and hit.
