Mh~ journaling
The bad news again, is that for literally decades I went with a definition of self which was hugely artifactual; just getting slammed with criticism with very few positives, really frequently, usually by abusive people, when I already felt trapped and stuck, already a terrible association from PTSD. These shitty experiences don’t really say anything about me; I could actually be an amazing saintly genius, a worthless stupid failure, or anything in between.
Mh~ journaling
The good news is, for obvious reasons I didn’t enjoy a worldview rooted in crappy self worth, and I cope a lot better with more acceptance.
The worse news; these crummy experiences were still terrible, the bitterness, distrust, anger, poverty and lost time are still there even if my acceptance of self changes, and it is very likely too late for me to truly get what I want in life as a result.