Hey. I'm Lex. You may know me from other assistance posts, such as this one: https://vulpine.club/@LexYeen/108342705477387037

I'm effectively living in the place now, but it's still overflowing with boxes of other people's things and I'm still unemployed, disabled, neurodivergent, and queer as fuck. For history, see the linked thread.

If you've got any cash to spare, literally anything helps. Survival has been turned into a subscription service by the greedy assholes of the world, and I cannot afford to pay it on my own. Paypal email still has my deadname attached to it, because I have had *so many more pressing issues* than fighting Paypal, and it's: glowhore [at] gmail [dot] com

Sorry for not using the link method, but I'm an oldhead and don't trust Paypal to not fuck me or you over with stealth-changes to their TOS.

If you'd rather not use Paypal, I do have a wishlist set up on Bastard Bezos's Bargain Basement as well. Previously I stated it was delivering things to the address of my most trusted friends. As of this post, this has been changed to the address I'm currently living. Items will disappear from the list as they're purchased. https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/20F0QGQ0KNBOL?ref_=wl_share

As of December 4th, my grocery shopping list was:

- rice (container is at half)
- pasta (less urgent but could still use a box)
- cereal (entirely out)
- instant mashed potatoes (entirely out)
- canned tomato soup (one can left)
- dry creamer (under half a container left)
- honey (nearly out)
- nespresso coffee pods (not urgent but worth topping off, and only because the company Peet's does free recycling of spent aluminum-bodied pods)

I did not have any money to go grocery shopping. And no, butter and milk are not on my list, because those are expensive and I'm lactose intolerant.

So, y'know.

I'd like to be able to keep feeding myself.

Thanks for all the help so far, fediverse. Turns out, sometimes direct action is just giving someone money to continue living.

I've got some cash that should be showing up in my credit union account by Monday, thanks to help from my sweetheart and one (1) donation, but in a world where survival is a subscription service? Recurring fees are a fact of life. Food, the cannabis concentrates I use to manage my chronic back pain from scoliosis and the aftereffects of my corrective surgery, and domestic cleaning supplies all cost money, unfortunately.

It'd be great to start next year with a bit more security, y'know?

Groceries: Acquired, partially. Had to prioritize due to financial limitations and my own carrying capacity.

Also, fortunately, had enough to acquire another pot of cannabis concentrate to help manage my pain. This time of year is always rough on my usage rate, simply due to rapid barometric pressure shifts and their effects on my spine hardware, bone scars. and joints.

As always, anything - even boosts, don't let anyone lie to you - helps.

Good news: I have my bike back. This makes getting groceries *FAR* easier, as it has a rear rack and two grocery bag sized panniers, and it lets me travel further for cheaper groceries while expending fewer calories at the same time.

Bad news: We're still living under capitalism, so groceries still cost money.

I'm down to the reserve toilet paper. You know, the stuff that's basically pocket lint flying in tight formation, tears like tissue paper that's been in the sun too long, and that leaves a thin coating of fibers behind on any surface that's even slightly damp. It's a kind of hell for my touch-sensitive brain because unlike other toilet paper it doesn't wipe off. It just makes progressively larger blobs of paper lint.

The emergency toilet paper is the one-ply industrial kind you see in, like, gas station bathrooms.

It's not that much harder to type an email address into a paypal donation form than it is to click on a paypal donation link, is it? Because I don't trust paypal to leave the terms of use for their donation link generator alone.

Got my bike back yesterday, as well as a gift of cash from the friends who dropped it off, and I went to get a load of groceries I couldn't have possibly carried home on my own due to a combination of volume and weight.

A paypal money transfer to my credit union cleared this morning, so I'll be going grocery shopping again today. Even with two decent-sized panniers, there's only so much I can put on my bike rack before I start worrying about the rear tire and the pannier's own hardware.

I've got enough shelf-stable goods of known provenance that, barring unforeseen catastrophe, I should be good to the end of the month and then some on food. It's *so nice* to have my bike back, I can just casually crank out a trip for groceries instead of needing to plan a full-assed hike to the store and back.

That said? If anyone wants to slip me some cashish so I can get more hashish* to keep my pain management on track, that'd be appreciated - the good news is, the local dispensary has the best prices for concentrates in the area, so cash donations don't need to be large to make a difference. Plus, y'know, non-edible household consumables are a thing - dish soap, personal soaps, paper goods, all that nonsense - and under capitalism most things cost money.

Also, unless the estimated delivery date for items found on my wish list is before January 7th, please refrain from ordering as I'll be out of town helping comrades for a bit. Don't want anything getting left on the porch when I'm not around, y'know?

*non-hash cannabis concentrates, for clarity

I'm *so done* with capitalism. A perfectly functional sodastream A200 carbonation system is gathering dust on the counter here because it's not compatible with the currently available replacement water bottles, and not only was there no indicator of this anywhere on the machine or on the packaging for the bottles? Sodastream's own site doesn't have *any* information on the A200 that I can dig up, despite the fact that the device is plastered inside and out with their branding and third-party sites confirm it's a model they made! Plus I'm hearing they changed the way their bottles lock into their carbonators since that model was released, so even if I had gotten a size that'd physically fit, I'd probably still be fucked!

I'm gonna go return the bottles tomorrow, because like *fuck* am I riding another five miles in cold, wet, and windy conditions today, but that doesn't mean I can't be mad about it right now. I could've spent that $20 on other things and *not* needed to waste time in the future.

Return made. Went absolutely seamlessly, and picked up some groceries I missed out on last time because I wanted to be a savvy consumer and invest in useful hard goods instead. That'll teach me to do something smart and healthy-behavior-supporting for my stepdad and myself, I guess.

Fuck sodastream as a company and turbofuck PepsiCo for rendering their older and still quite functional pressurization systems obsolete through water bottle design changes and then proceeding to not provide cursory documentation or even compatibility warnings for said older systems anywhere online to my knowledge.

Good news is, the money was refunded to my account while I was still in the store.

Timed the round trip, took nearly an hour. This weather has me way too fucking achy. Hopefully a soak in the tub followed by a quick shower helps with both my mood and my aches and pains.

Guess who hurt their knee!

Guess who still needs to do laundry, restock groceries, and continue cleaning!

This yeen!

This knee injury sucks and I have no idea what I could have done. On top of that, because of how my spine meets my pelvis in such a way as to tilt my upper body to the left and this is my left knee that's injured, I can't get further than the bathroom and back without my cane or knee brace.

Knee is improving slowly. Didn’t need the brace for most of the day, but I'm still using my cane around the house.

I'm more behind than I already was because of this bullshit.

I had planned on getting laundry done. Now I'm a week behind on laundry, because I haven't had the ability to carry much more than things I can one-hand.

I had planned to clear the sink of dishes before it was full. Now it is full, because I haven't been able to stand long enough to do dishes.

I had planned to go shopping for more groceries. Instead, I've had to dig into the reserve canned goods a little.

I had planned to get some writing done with friends. Instead I can't sit at my desk because it bends my knee too much, and have only been able to sit upright to use my laptop from my bedside table for short periods for the same reason - and propping myself up in bed against the wall only works for so long because that position pinches nerves in my scoliosis-fucked spine and makes my feet go numb after too long.

One minor injury is all it takes to tumble off the overdriven stair-stepper of capitalism's hustle when you're already disabled and working as hard as you can to just survive.

Knee still isn't up to full spec again, but I was able to sit at my desk *just* long enough yesterday to open up an older headset of mine and deal with some minor entropy-induced issues that had taken it out of circulation.

I was only able to do this in the first place thanks to the donation of an iFixit tool kit I had on my wishlist, because the headset was built using security torx screws.

Hooray, I have a backup headset now. Boo, user-hostile anti-repair design.

Yep, still recovering from my knee injury.

Yep, still disabled and autistic and queer.

Yep, still stuck living under capitalism.

Knee is only just starting to feel like I can manage doing laundry again.

Yeah, after three weeks I might be mobile but I'm certainly not confident in that mobility yet.

Again, for the people in the back: This is what happens when you're disabled and you can barely survive the treadmill that is capitalism.

Thanks to me respecting the demands of the union comprised of all the major joints down the left side of my body, especially my left knee, and of course the donations I've been receiving from across the fediverse, I was able to walk to the dispensary and back today to replenish my medicinal cannabis supply. While I was out, I also snagged a relatively healthy fast lunch from a chain restaurant on my route. I figure having a meatless lunch the same day as a dispensary run is a good habit, yeah?

Pretty sure I jacked up my knee by having my recumbent seat too far back, forcing my leg to over-extend, when I got back on that monster to get a lot of grocery shopping done over a short period of time. Soft tissue injuries suck.

Thanks for helping keep my head above water, comrades. ​💙

I was also feeling well enough to get on my bike and go get a load of groceries, knocking all but one item off my current (and currently undisclosed) grocery list, *and* I have cash left over.

Not a *lot* of cash, mind you, but it's definitely "grab a clif bar and a sports drink if I underestimate myself" cash - which, as a cyclist, I appreciate.

Unfortunately, the cracking in my bike's seat frame did not take well to the initial attempt at using JB Weld and the cracks have reformed, but I am looking at the aluminum-foil lining: This forces me to slow the fuck down, making me a safer cyclist who is capable of enjoying nature at the same time.

Doing a bit of wishlist maintenance. Notable additions: A new pair of boots, as my existing ones are reaching the age where they're only really useful in the dry season, a pair of high-end water bottle holders for my bike, and bike safety lights that attach in between water bottle mounts on a frame and a water bottle holder.

Currently putting together a list of what all I need to attempt cord-wrapping and epoxy-soaking a second JB Weld attempt, I'll figure out a wishlist for that when I have the materials list done.

Added a GPS-based bike computer to my wishlist, as my birthday is coming up and my existing bike computer is showing its age - largely due to screen damage that makes using features more advanced than the basic speedometer impossible to use while on the move. It's with the other bike things at low priority, but I'm posting about it because it's currently on sale for a significant amount off its usual price.

Edit: This is specifically not a GPS navigation tool. I have a phone for that. What it *is,* is a bike computer that tracks its own location via GPS and can load point-by-point route maps.

Checking and reorganizing the wishlist again. Seems the ice cube tray I have my eye on is on sale, and that bike computer I mentioned in the last post is still on sale too.

Good news: My knee is up in the 75-90% functionality range, and I can get laundry done when I trust my footing and my pain levels allow.

Bad news: The weather has taken a turn for squalls with tiny hail, and freezing temperatures, for the past couple of days. This has made my pain average a 7 out of 10 for the entire day, with spikes and twinges of 8 and 9 in some locations.

Other news: Thank you to *everyone* who has donated by purchasing things from my amazon wishlist, sending money to my paypal account, or reaching out to see if alternative support methods can be arranged. Waves of packages have been arriving recently, and it is deeply reassuring to not need to rely on home goods older than I am or showing ample signs of critical wear - in some cases both - to perform critically important household tasks such as "feeding myself," "cleaning," and "bathing." I've been checking my wishlist as pain levels allow me to sit up at the laptop, just to keep up on things.

The weather hasn't let up, and the chronic pain I'm experiencing as a result has kept my ability to make progress in and around this place to what's best described as "minimal."

I am *frustrated* more than anything else with the circumstances I find myself in, because I don't have the physical ability or the financial stability to get this place into something even *remotely* approaching even passable, and my lived experiences to date make me feel like there will be zero attempt to understand these extenuating circumstances if I ask for help from the people *whose boxes of stuff are still fucking crowding this fucking place to within a foot of the ceiling.*

And I have nowhere else to live.

I feel fucking *trapped* here, on multiple levels.

Back from housesitting. Original post's edited to reflect such. Birthday's tomorrow, if anyone needs more incentive to help.

It yeen day.

Did some wishlist maintenance. Removed out of stock products in favor of in-stock equivalents, reorganized a few items, and added a couple of shelf stable pantry goods.