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Reading more about Buddhism on the toilet.
Chodron talks a lot about the warrior-bodhisattva, peaceful warrior etc. This was something that *really* used to sour me given how "warrior" is this western heroic ideal used to sell stuff.
When I think about it though, war *isn't* glorious and heroic - though it can be in places that's entwined intimately with how it's full of fear, anger, loss, pain, uncertainty. Doubtless the literal thing was familiar and horrifying to a lot of Buddhists in the past (even the Sengoku warlords who idealized some of it). And Buddhism loves apparent contradictions - you can be a complete pacifist and be a warrior if life is a lot like war.
