@chimerror @Leucrotta I can definitely see that association. It doesn't seem unrelated to self-confidence. Like, when we aren't crediting ourselves for what worth lay in our efforts, we are only absorbing and internalizing the negatives in a way that prohibits us from getting that confidence -from- ourselves?

@chimerror @Leucrotta so in that sense, we can only seem to get that confidence from external sources and the pressure/stress of that is pretty great

@Oneironott @Leucrotta yep, that makes sense to me

I wish this type of thinking and talking about it was more common and hopefully my own niblings who will also likely have adhd will get some good guidance

@chimerror @Leucrotta it's something that really makes me double-shocked because then I remember all of this is ~quite~ relatively new in the grand scheme of humanity. I feel like people are just kinda starting to figure out how and in what ways our brain, and mental health, matter. Absolutely wild time to be alive n.n'

@chimerror @Leucrotta Do y'all mind if I just copy/archive bits of these discussions for the future? It's been super useful n.n

@Oneironott @Leucrotta go for it

@chimerror @Oneironott seconded, anything that might help someone else/alternatively might generate ideas that come back and help me is great imho

@Oneironott @Leucrotta I honestly feel more like we're returning to a sense of ourselves that we packed away with the start of the modern era

but at the same time the technology that modern era wrought _is_ extremely useful

@Oneironott @chimerror I was thinking about this some more and in my case I deffo think it circles around;

Being told that I'm unimportant, that I'm terrible, unwanted, unsafe, was going to generate a need for dopamine hits to keep going.

While simultaneously teaching me that if I were gonna feel good, it wasn't going to be from these tasks the adults and peers considered so important - after all I was doing what they wanted and even apparently succeeding sometimes and it meant nothing.

And I sure wasn't gonna get dopamine from social encounters while being isolated off at home right?

So now I'm seeing the double-whammy; I'd been trained that I wasn't going to be rewarded for doing tasks, *and* that curiosity not completion was going to feel rewarding. And similarly it can't have helped with socializing to have learned an ADHD approach to friendships on top of CPTSD jumpiness.

@Leucrotta It's a bit.. purposeful perspective bending. Looking at the glass partially full doesn't change how empty it is, but it does change like... the way we way we think about it in relation in a way that serves us better