Mh -, journaling, ADHD 

Some stuff just pressed buttons enough that I was furiously angry, then had a little suicidal thoughts, and my chest still hurts. Remembering I’ve been in bad situations plenty of times before only makes me think, why can’t it be enough ever that I can be done with bad situations. I think this is a specious thought pattern that has been getting to me all my life.

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Mh -, journaling, ADHD 

That reminded me of another thought from earlier this week about ADHD versus goal oriented feelings of achievement; part of why nothing ever felt like I achieved goals in any way that mattered was I felt achievements were meant to get me to safety and NOTHING I did in childhood ever made me safer (such that I miss when that does happen in adulthood).

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