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People have noted that the song “The Monster Mash” never tells you what the Mash itself sounds like. The lyrics suggest it’s a faster and reorchestrated regional tune old enough that Dracula would be familiar with it, so I’d suggest it sounds like part of Bartok’s “Six Romanian Dances.”

(Bartok’s on record as saying it should be performed faster than it usually is or can be.)

But also, despite being a song from the 50s/60s about a dance, there’s no lyrics about how to actually DANCE the Mash. No “drop your shoulders and shuffle left, crinkle your nose and bare teeth, stick your hands straight out in front of you” or anything like that.

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