ph -, mh journaling
I'm up with acid reflux again.
Something that's taken me this long to notice; if I feel bad, it literally takes time to step that back, when part of the process is spotting default assumptions, triggers from childhood, low blood sugar. The world isn't ending, I'm not actually trapped in misery forever, just whatever reason is kicking in. In the time it takes to step that back I am very literally vulnerable to anything that triggers me further and for the first 18 years of my life there just was never enough literal time to interject doubt into this terrible narrative and to step it back.