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"apparently women are asking men how often they think about the Roman empire"
I'm reminded of someone I met who'd been a classic civ grad student. The leader of her cohort tried to get them all to get SPQR tats while they were drinking heavily and her take was "why do I care about the Senate and People of Rome?" and she got a big gorgon head instead.
NOT a serious take on classic civilizations
COMPARE AND CONTRAST
ROMANS
* Suetonius' bullshit stories about the Caesars' sex lives
* don't like tragedies but love sitcoms
* did NOT successfully invade Iran, this is because Sassanids are AWESOME
* boring loricae segmentata/squamata/hamata
* oh geez we don't sail we hire Celts to do that for us
* ooh lookat our art we like gladiators so much we put a big fresco of them in the snack bar and then someone graffiti'd about his sexual prowess on it
* wanna study on site? then you gotta go to Naples or something
GREEKS
* Herodotus' bullshit about distant places
* epic tragedies, comedies are 2500 year old The Onion articles
* successfully drove off Iranian invasion and then fell apart in really dumb loud arguments
* AWESOME hoploi, the occasional full monty
* fuckin' big noisy naval engagements
* all the marble is painted AWESOME colors
* fuck yeah let's go to Crete!