starting to feel that life is essentially being okay with yourself despite the INEVITABILITY of rejections, failures and letdowns
@Leucrotta That is a pillar of wisdom, friend 🙏
@GoodNewsGreyShoes was realizing, it's the First Noble Truth. Years and years and years of trying to deal with my very "everything is about how good I am or not," and I rediscovered what the Buddha flat out said and which I've reread multiple times.
@Leucrotta It's wild how we can KNOW a thing, that we've read & heard so many times, but not UNDERSTAND a thing until it's unlocked thru our experiences 😆
It sounds like you are DOING WORK with your soul/spirit/mind right now, friend! 🤩 That is some SERIOUS growth, especially considering what you're fighting against.🥳🙌
It takes an ASTOUNDING amount of strength & courage to face the calamity, the painful doom of a dreaded future, so you can see it for what it is: fear, anchored in trauma.😔
@Leucrotta I'm SO glad/excited/happy to hear about the work you've been doing, and the insights you've gained. 🤩
You're doing AWESOME, and I wish you abundant peace as you dive deeper! 🙏😄
Also, not sure if it's helpful: Don't forget that you're doing hard work to dismantle ACTIVE thought distortions. In my experience they WILL fight back and you MAY lose ground temporarily; this is normal, natural, and NOT an indication of failure or futility! Refine & practice using your tools & insights.👍🏂
@GoodNewsGreyShoes and, thinking about this today connects up to other stuff
* terrible things happen, but they’re not always death rushing to meet me, acknowledges a future with both good and bad (given PTSD I’m notoriously bad at thinking there’s any future)
* I feel like most of my negativity is extrapolating a few terribles to be bad to be all the time. In this case it only takes a few times I fucked up or wasn’t enough, to plug right into the worth/morality stuff I was taught