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Something I never expected as part of gaining greater self worth; viewing myself as a stupid, inept, ugly, unlikable, worthless failure was a coping mechanism, not a fun one. As I step beyond it, I find myself running into places where it would help me cope, but no longer does. Even when I fall back into self hate, it's like how someone might wind up smoking, drinking or caffeine again after quitting, for a little bit rather than a complete return to old habits. Either way I still have to figure out how to confront what's getting to me.
