mh stuff
Lately I've been getting hit more often by the realization that my buttons are being pressed and naturally I feel MISERABLE,
such that not only might reality be a lot less obnoxious (just harsh),
but also, for most of 18 years my buttons were being pressed ALL THE DAMN TIME, this recursive loop of bullshit which made it impossible to feel like I had a chance of ever getting anything better, enough that horrible self hate was enough of an explanation/distraction that it actually FELT BETTER.
yuck!