"Sacred Garl, it's Defekles the Brown. Speak ye not unto him!"

"Why, brother? Is he not a sorcerer of fell might who would mickle aid our party in battle 'gainst the foul orcs?"

"Nay, brother but..."

"Good morrow friend Defekles!"

"I cast SCARAB'S DUNG BALL at the orcs!"

"Uh...."

"... any that fail their saves be subject now to 2d6 continuing Coprophagous damage, fuck yeah!"

"Uh..."

"There is a war leader standing, clad in now befouled banded mail +1. He waves his khopesh and bellows a challenge in his own language."

"Awright, tough guy, I cast FECAL TORRENT! A cone of liquified stool hits the war leader, fort save at -2 versus nausea for d8 rounds, hooah!"

"Uh... um. Uh, Fred? Do we really need to do this every session?"

"Subtle are the ways of Copromancy! Question them not!"