I really really need to buy more stuff from artists I like. It's not like the pros aren't strapped for money too, and it's not like I don't like art books.
I guess I keep worrying that now that I'm not constantly pouring money into living in a studio in north Seattle, car, health or losing work will eat all the money - something which combines the CPTSD baggage of "some adult always has a reason I can't get what I want and it'll be too much my fault or oh-SO-obviously a normal necessary thing."