My parents are still around and goodness knows how my housemate for starters would react so I can’t take myself out, and of course I want things to be better than to just not exist, but I can’t help thinking there’s really no reason to keep going, looking forward to something is for people more important and worthy than me; I’d like to skip ahead to the part where I’m no longer here trying to cope.
@Leucrotta 😞🫂
Thank you for taking care of yourself as best you can in the shite situation you're in.🙏
You do not ever have to be - or even attempt to become - perfect, in anything you ever do, to BE a person fully worth every single drop of love you could possibly have received in your lifetime.
You are already worth that. You are worth loving, every bit of you - even those you don't want. Bits that feel unlovable, shameful, or horrifying? They are worth loving, too.❤️🩹
@GoodNewsGreyShoes Thanks. Friday really deteriorated partly as a result of triggery stuff Thursday, and I'm still fairly nervous around this one coworker.
longish kvetching
@GoodNewsGreyShoes well...
they were out at least most of December and January. Thursday there was a departmental meeting where they, and a few others, got kudos for working on this stuff - and I didn't, which made me feel that this was the actually valued good person. Friday they opened up on me with a batch of criticism in email - which I'm now realizing is a disconnect between where my brain is broken and a neurotypical person. They successfully convinced me I'm no good at this, and I'm still sorta there.
Fortunately they haven't emailed me since Friday and they FUCKING NEVER TALK TO ME, I don't know what I did to piss them off or if they're just naturally standoffish. I try hard to like and trust everyone and frankly I hate this lady.
@Leucrotta Oy, that fuckin' *sucks*😖 - sometimes all it takes to ruin a job is one especially bad co-worker.😮💨
I hope you don't have to interact with them much, this week. ❤️🩹🫂