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mh lately 

a very bad intersection between

* wanting things, b/c sentient beings desire security and comfort

* a society which presents me with an idealized version which mixes what I actually want with what I'm supposed to want

* a lot of indoctrination that wanting things is both selfish and completely impractical, as it's NOT going to happen

* association of low self worth with feeling trapped, such that I feel like worse shit when I feel trapped and feel worse stuck when I feel self-hate

mh lately 

related; the contrast of social media insight into other peoples' emotional state (which can be pretty bad), with the way data can filter and people will front in social situations. When I perceive coworkers or others as blissfully well off and happy in contrast to my own grinding issues and lack of money, is that actually an accurate perception? I sure do use it to beat myself up.

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