Mmh.
Server-grade UPS is bricked. Probably because it's been unplugged for a couple of years and will not start without a minimum charge in the four 12V 12AH lead-acid gelcells that form its internal power reservoir. Replacement packs are $250 (yeah, riiiiight).
... no reason I shouldn't try tricklecharging each battery at 14V for a couple of hours each and see if it'll boot and finish a deep charge cycle from the wall once reassembled, is there?
@Momentrabbit Couldn't huit!!