re: gender stuff, identity stuff
He's the big shy bara soft boy who's at home with the feminine aspects, he's okay with being the Mom, the Caretaker, the Shield.
Unfortunately, this leaves him feeling Un-Boy by today's standards. Keri would feel Un-Girl more if she didn't regard society's rules as something to be regarded more as Guidelines she can color outside of whenever she feels like.
And Tohri just wanted to be Normal and recognized as being Worthy. So much for that.