re: gender stuff (-)
Like... I've tried really hard not to rock the boat or behave inappropriately for 'Guys' for around fifteen years now to avoid ridicule and trauma.
I'm fucking sick of it. I'm not the 'Man Up' type. I'm pretty strong, but I can't just shrug off harshness or Alpha Male behavior in others, it fucking Bothers me.
I hate when another man I have to be around acts all upset that I'm sensitive and kinda soft inside. Because I'm That Way because I hate being like Them.
I hate being a ragemonster, I hate hurting other people's feelings, I hate getting angry at people. I snap and just want to hurt people Physically the same way they've been hurting me Emotionally.
Violence is Awful, and I'm always angry when someone acts like emotional violence is just a Joke, or the Way They Are.
The way I am? I'm the one who will seriously explode if you keep hurting me. They always act bewildered when I explode, too. Like they had No Idea they were hurting me.