Hey, last thought before bedtime. (Trans +)
To all my transfeminine friends: Most folks got religious indoctrination in some Divine Father religion.
I got brought up in a weird hippie witch household. In that specific religion, in place of the usual messianic figure, is the male child who is born who can commune with the essence of the sacred feminine, step into the temple, Etc etc.
Long story shortened, everyone else might tell you that what you're doing is a Sin.
According to the holy books I got as a kid, what you're going thru is a form of religious Transcendence.