Gender talk (-/+?); maybe dysphoria? Unsure how to cw
So, in case it's not obvious, IRL I'm essentially a dude. I have a penis, I have a prostate, I have testicles (even if I did get the tubes snipped;) I present male because it's easiest to deal with among the general public; and I consider myself genderfluid because I still have no idea what exactly my gender really is, because sometimes I get desires that don't line up with having my current equipment, sometimes I feel like I'm missing stuff.
Gender talk (-/+?); maybe dysphoria? Unsure how to cw
I hate that I have body hair; I strongly dislike my facial hair (and have to shave it off regularly or I break out in a rash.) I sometimes really feel like I'm supposed to have breasts. And sometimes really wish I did. Like I'll see pictures of people with breasts and feel incredibly envious of them. Hell even my own character Cilich I envy. Some of it is for horny reasons, yes, and that shouldn't invalidate my feelings. It's not always horny,
Gender talk (-/+?); maybe dysphoria? Unsure how to cw
Same thing goes with a vagina. Sometimes I really wish I have a vagina. Sometimes it's for really horny reasons. Other times it's because it really feels like there should be something there, but there isn't. Or I'll feel a strange sense of arousal that doesn't line up with any of my anatomy, and dealing with that isn't freaking easy. But oddly enough I don't feel like I shouldn't have a penis? I enjoy having a penis. That at least feels right
Gender talk (-/+?); maybe dysphoria? Unsure how to cw
... maybe it could be a little bigger... But yeah, I like my dick. Even if I am having some issues with it that have been taking far longer to deal with than it should have. It's still my dick, and it never felt like it didn't belong. But I guess that's where a lot of problems arise. I mean yeah I could start taking HRT and grow some breasts like some of my friends have been doing (and amazingly well at that!)
Gender talk (-/+?); maybe dysphoria? Unsure how to cw
But if I did that I'd probably have to bind them because I don't exactly work in an environment that's... accepting of that kind of thing. So that's not really an option for some time. I could at least hide a vagina, but... that comes with problems of its own. I still want my penis. And at that point many will consider it simply as I'm just doing it as a fetish, and that makes it a lot harder to even consider, even medically.
Gender talk (-/+?); maybe dysphoria? Unsure how to cw
Once upon a time, way back when I created Cilich, she was basically a fetish character. Hermaphroditic characters were really hot to me. But over the years that's changed. She became more a personification of my horny side, then more of a... reflection of how I sometimes feel I should appear. Minus the furry thing. I feel like I can identify with her much like how I can identify with my main Kilroy character, who has also had some changes.
