gender and identity contemplating (~)
I used to (c.2006 or so) think i was Straight. And then I started making friends online, started seriously engaging with good groups of people who were upfront, and my greater-society-built ideas of sexuality and gender started to get gently questioned.
I started exploring identity in Furry spaces, which seems to be a frequent thing, and one which Furry is, perhaps not uniquely, but very well suited to
gender and identity contemplating (~)
at some point, I started writing female characters, and that really started sending me down the rabbit hole, as it were. I discovered IRC, and from there, furry porn. and started actually questioning "What am I, really?" Around 2012 I discovered MUCKs and made a female character on one. and my sense of labelable identity has just gotten more nebulous. I don't know what I am, but I'm not Straight, that's for sure
gender and identity contemplating (~)
and by 'not straight', I actually don't know what I am, at this point. I am definitely NOT a "Manly Man", but neither do I feel like Soft Boy is a good label. I want to learn to dress in ways that aren't straightlaced 'guy'; but by that same token I like being dressed such that I won't think twice about crawling under a broke-down car
gender and identity contemplating (~)
if I can be said to have "an aesthetic" it would best be described as 'zero effort conventionally masculine'. I would LOVE to break out of that mold, but there's the big fat problem-group of Money, Logistics, and Social Safety. being a NEET living with parents comes with its own set of foibles, gotchas, and tread-carefullies, even if they are Pretty Good Parents.
