Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

@pexl@yiff.life Hey now, I resemble this remark.

Gender of the day: Avenged Sevenfold's "The Beast and the Harlot"

@clipclopboom@snouts.online Yeah. But you're gonna have a PHD at 35, not an Associates and a miserable little pile of secrets.

You could get the Degree, say Fuck it, GTFO the british empire, come to America, and everyone you meet will know you as Willow, not the other one.

And if you come to My City, nobody's gonna care about your voice. if you're not a Junkie, folks overlook just about everything else. Even Alicorn would have a place. We've got a forest just for folks like Him and Tohri and Duke to Be in.

And around This tribe, This family, a Cute girl who's got a squaddie in her head would just add to a matched set.

@clipclopboom@snouts.online Then they don't deserve to be your Family anymore. They're just some people who you're related to by Birth.

And I feel ya, just inverted. I've got a fantastic family, but my Career is spiraling and causing me huge amounts of pain. Catch-22

That feel when you're okay with He/Him pronouns, just not with the whole 'Being treated like a guy' thing.

And knowing that there's a whole class of Men who will treat you like that no matter what you say, do, or require of them.

I identify as a Dragon because most of the Humans I meet act like I'm an existential threat and wanna get rid of me by any means necessary.

Max Johnson and the Non-Binary Penis.

Gender of the day: Whatever I can scrape together that doesn't feel like shit.

So in a Very practical context, I'm not Male. I'm not into Sports, not into Violence, not into Competition.

It's all a stand-in for War. It's all a massive re-branding to encourage a whole section of the population into thinking Violence is okay. Oh! But if you respond in Kind, they have no idea what to do.

If I want to hurt them emotionally in response, they get all defensive, and act like I'm acting out of line. I could tear them down with their own insecurities, rip them apart psychologically over the course of Weeks or Months.
I could snap at them and ask them how often they hug their kids, or how often someone else says the words "I love you' to them.

I could ask them if their Money and Power were worth being emotionally castrated, and how many years till the inevitable Divorce with their wife. I could laugh, and say that I have not just a wife of over a Decade, but multiple girlfriends and boyfriends who love me for who I am.

But nooooo. That's all off limits. That's shooting to Kill. They don't know how to deal with That kind of violence, so it's supposed to be off the table, because Yeah...

It Hurts when the core of yourself is called into question. It Hurts when someone else decides you're Less Human than They are because they have something You Don't. It fucking Hurts when your sexuality and lifestyle are made fun of. And no...

I won't try and cover it up by say I was only Kidding. Oooh, big sin right there. Yeah, I Meant those things, what are you gonna do about it besides punch my teeth out?

@Cilich *hug* IThanks. I'm just... Wounded.

Like... I've tried really hard not to rock the boat or behave inappropriately for 'Guys' for around fifteen years now to avoid ridicule and trauma.

I'm fucking sick of it. I'm not the 'Man Up' type. I'm pretty strong, but I can't just shrug off harshness or Alpha Male behavior in others, it fucking Bothers me.

I hate when another man I have to be around acts all upset that I'm sensitive and kinda soft inside. Because I'm That Way because I hate being like Them.

I hate being a ragemonster, I hate hurting other people's feelings, I hate getting angry at people. I snap and just want to hurt people Physically the same way they've been hurting me Emotionally.

Violence is Awful, and I'm always angry when someone acts like emotional violence is just a Joke, or the Way They Are.

The way I am? I'm the one who will seriously explode if you keep hurting me. They always act bewildered when I explode, too. Like they had No Idea they were hurting me.

That feel when you're reminded yet again that you're not Really male by an abusive person in your life.

Gee, Thanks. Like I don't have enough problems, now I don't feel like I can pass as a Guy anymore. Or really anything.

@wntrdrgn@snouts.online For us, Tohri's voice always comes through Monotone and a little sad, Kerithe's voice is only a little higher in register, but she's Super tonal and has a very different cadence to her speech.

And this is like, IRL too. I'll find myself speaking in Keri's voice and stop and wonder when the handoff happened.

@Bisexuhell@snouts.online Thanks. I'll be okay. Just need to find all the bits of Tohri that got splattered everywhere, scrape them up and put them back together again.

@Bisexuhell@snouts.online Oh, he told me Everything I was doing wrong, in detail, the second I went to do it. So, yay.

If I'd wanted Marine Basic Training I'd have joined the bloody marines.

Pro: You've got a backup personality after something that would have caused major ego death and deep depression in a single individual.

Con: You still have to experience the entire range of awful emotion and from multiple points of view.