Cabinet Derg @Motodrachen@awoo.space

I can deal with being rampantly horny all the time.
I can deal with being Aggressive and intense as a default setting.
I can even deal with the subtle psychological reinforcement as the Testosterone goes thru and urges me on.
The constant feeling of Muscle is what's getting to me. Like, I enjoy being Strong, but I can feel all my muscles lately and it makes me feel twice the size I really am.

And that's a weirdass feeling. Like I feel physically secure but for all the wrong reasons and TBH I was getting psychologically ready to be a lot more Femme.

And it's hard to feel femme when you're suffused with the feeling of being a biological Forklift.

So, I'm here. I want a somewhat different body, but I put a lot of work into loving the one I have. And I do love a lot about it, just that when you mix up a car and a truck, you can get an SUV, or something like an el Camino.

I've been having to accept that I'm an SUV wishing I was an el camino

Is Spiro like, crucial if most of the time you're okay with your testosterone levels and related physical attributes, but want to have the feminine attributes as well?

Like, after a lot of introspection I realized I'd be most comfortable with a body that was Both, not an in-between. And that there wasn't a clear path to take.

And all I'd ever wanted was a definition I could believe in and feel I was living, not just trying to live up to.
So I lived it and saw where it got me.

Ugh finally Keri is back to Right-Side-out. The whole Poison Ivy routine was getting tiresome

Self improvement in the age of criminal empire feels like bread and circuses.

I'll feel better once it all Burns and we have real problems to solve. Fuck Alabama. Fuck the GOP and fuck boomers.

And really, fuck society. Nothing changes if the good guys try and be sensible in the face of organized Evil

Dealing with living in a pluralistic society is hard because if you're actually doing your own thing, just about anyone can pop out of the woodwork and tell you that you're a faker

The nudist lesbian in my head is wearing a hazmat suit and respirator lately because of all the testosterone in my system lately.

Her voice sounds funny through the mask.

I'm starting to realize that the Non-binary designation just kinda... Doesn't cover it for me.

That and there's three folks in here now so the situation is non-binary to begin with.

And folks consider Herm a slur, but it's what I kinda Am. I experience Both being a Man and being a Woman, sometimes at the same time.
And not just Sexually or in terms of body image. Kerithe's Womanhood is almost totally detached from physicality. Tohri's Masculinity is more of an Ethos than anything.
And TBH I was a boy raised with the full expectation that I'd be a Mom on the Flower Farm, and if I'd been Actually transmale, I'd have wanted my money back for that Puberty.

So, physically I'm Not-Quite-Male. Emotionally I'm so much of a girl I was never accepted by the 'Real Men'. At the same time, I threaten those Real Men because I can sling wrenches harder and faster than they can, and hear the whispers of the machine god.
And with Women, they get the wrong impression at First sometime, then end up identifying me as 'Gay best Friend' and I end up just kinda letting myself slide into that slot unless Keri is out.
Then it's Disaster Lesbian Theater.

Look, inside me are Three Dragons, there's absolutely no room for wolves in here.

Tohri: A red fuzzy snuggledragon built from second hand Sex Bot, Terminator, Lawn Tractor and Truck parts.
Kerithe: "I'm only happy when it rains" meets manic wine mom with Transformation magic on tap.
Yaori: Horny hippie River Tam if she wasn't fucked up.

Would you rather be Pro-life or Projared?

Well, been a bunch of Tohri days and Keri isn't fronting any time soon, so, decided to switch up profile stuff.

Like was complimented by strangers Twice outta the blue, feeling super confident and Very centered, looking fantastic, and still, like...

This is great and everything. Why does it feel like I'm doing it left-handed?

That feel when you're so very very queer that you don't really consider yourself part of the queer community because you're too busy just kinda Doing it. o_o
Like, I spent today in boston in a kilt, hawaiian teeshirt, and sparkly purple dragonscale leggings to see a certain rainbow hellbeast and watch Eurovision, and still felt somehow I was getting something fundamentally incorrect.

Or like I went the long way around and I'm hetero with a universal adapter on.

Daily Card: Strength, inverted.
Stubborn pride, Power becoming an Addiction, Desires and drives leading the wrong way.

Thanks, I already knew Keri had a bad relapse and drank a whole bottle of Leesti Evil Juice.