-
awake at 5 am getting overwhelmed by the last solid month of bullshit and worries and I just don't fucking know how much longer I can do this for
-
they called me on Tuesday with different info about the date than they gave me last time, gave me a runaround of conflicting information on Wednesday, then fucked off for Thanksgiving and told me "we'll touch base with you on Monday". I don't fucking know if I'll get surgery next week. I don't know when my next chance will be if I don't. Today marks a full month since my original date.
-
like I've been trying so damn hard to function like a Human Being who Goes Outside and Spends Time With People despite being in a nightmare of surgical limbo but I'm at the end of my rope, forcing myself to act Healthy is taking more energy than I can sustain. I've only gotten this far by pointedly not looking directly at the problem and running on autopilot.