fantasies, identity-loss, transformation
There are a few fantasies i have in which i am admittedly… embarrassed of and reluctant to talk about a lot of times. A lot of these revolve around death, or reminiscent/equivalence of.
One of these is the topic of identity loss that sometimes comes with hypnotic/transformation scenarios. The concept that… sure, you might get what you want but you will forget that you ever wanted it.
fantasies, identity-loss, transformation
I have fantasies about getting the opportunity to go Home, and to be Myself finally, in body and soul. However, in such scenarios, becoming myself in mind involves… forgetting.
Forgetting that i was ever human
Forgetting all about this life, it’s details… to be remade, a fresh slate. Untainted by abuse, trauma… but also forgetting the good things
fantasies, identity-loss, transformation, sui mention
This was mostly the form in which i fantasized regularly about “death” back during my traumatic period. I fantasized about that process of forgetting my parents, my family, my friends. Everyone that had abandoned me and everyone that had hurt me. Some spiritual, ritual experience of my identity and everything that i was… fading away. All that pain…
And to just open my eyes again, refreshed. Right. With no memory of it ever being wrong.
fantasies, identity-loss, transformation
The truth is, i still fantasize about such a scenario. Others as well, like being absorbed into a whole greater than me.
I’ve always been ashamed of fantasizing so much about such a thing, and romanticizing such sort of death despite still having wonderful things in my life.
Some nights… what i would give to be able to wake up like all of this was all a dream, and would fade fast as a dream and replaced with a better reality than this.
fantasies, identity-loss, transformation
@Oneironott
*Hug*
Brains are weird, whatever fantasies bring you comfort are okay.