species/kinstuff
Sometimes I become very aware that I have little frame of reference for what it would be like to be Whole. Right. Correct.
I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to come to and to look down and to just...
see... all of it.
Feel all of it.
experience and think and live... all of it.
species/kinstuff
To look down and see the curve of my breast accentuated through my eyes by the soft, smooth nanoprene. To see the detail in its' composition. Intricate and fluid right to the seams. to feel it with my paws, and then look them over... slender and slick... pawpads right where they should be. to feel the webbing between my digits... to feel the tension as I splay them apart.
To see the soft trailing glow of someone's paw along my smooth, naked form that is so completely synthetic
species/kinstuff
to feel the flow and pulse of my markings. To feel myself able to control it. to control more than that...
To feel the heft of my tail as it wags and sways in delight. Thick and heavy, but a deft and fluid rudder. To feel the lack of anything along my crotch. sensitive, but null. beautifully smooth and devoid.
species/kinstuff
How it would feel to plunge through the waters of my home. To not be subject to the laws and horrors of this earth any longer. To be able to heal and rest in soft pulsing love of the life that surrounds me. sparks of life through my mindlink like existential massages through my being and deep 'breaths' under the seas. To move with the flow of luminescent kelp forests, heart pulsing with iridescent goo
species/kinstuff
I can only... try as hard as I muster with this brain and teary eyes. to try and relate through the eyes of my gender transition. Maybe it would be like those first few weeks of euphoria before it set in again that I... wasn't complete.
Maybe it would be like that forever.
What would it be like, to be whole... body and mind and self? There is no part of me that knows, and every part that has always been, and always will be searching.
*sigh*
