past, dreams, abuse, reflective
It has been far enough time and therapy to where these things don't bother me at all to reflect on, but it's interesting how much better I know my brain and how I dream now, to where I can definitely read what's going on in a way I couldn't then
past, dreams, abuse, reflective
Found an old dream log from the period of time where I don't have any memories from. I can't even remember some of the names that were written down. Other things spark a little memory, but otherwise.. it's.. depressing?
It's me having all of these dreams that are -very- fake and forced in their desire towards my [abusive] ex-boyfriend at the time in a setting of like.. horrible storms and settings that is very clearly my subconcious brain screaming for my attention
frustration, transphobia
Spent way too much money on a meal i didn’t know was going to be so expensive. Almost plowed over on ice by some drunk fuck who called me a slur.
So very frustrated
Fuck this city
money
I made a thing https://ko-fi.com/oneironott
Like idk really.
But i guess like… yeah.
If you want to donate or like… something? I’m not really sure yet.
Living with a coyote is fucking ridiculous some days (at least he didn’t actually change my desktop password :P)
https://awoo.space/media/-jqx4zN3aBtiPdXYmJk
https://awoo.space/media/jwPM8iIWmImZ_AHWmg4
https://awoo.space/media/tXNTP9jMUBX_pctL5bw
https://awoo.space/media/FeKElK5Cshlv-7IXClA
music, life, woo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RT_CxPA0mg
This is one of the songs that's pretty close to me in my spiritual awakening and journey of self... particularly the gradual clarity of my own sense of self, and my nature as nonhuman.
The pulsing heartbeat and slogging through and then just this... awe-inspiring vastness.
In a way, my life prior to my coming into self and transition has seemed like a haze, and I only just now feel like I can see.
It's such an amazing feeling.
species dysphoria, MH
It just hurts right now. feeling my ability to converse in voice chat embarrassingly plummet and my body and brain just stops working right. Can barely talk.
These bodies -don't make sense-. some days it all feels like a horror and I can't stop screaming in the back of my head.
THIS IS WRONG THIS IS WRONG THIS IS WRONG THIS IS WRONG THIS IS WRONG THIS IS WRONG
Where is my tail? my webbing? where is the water around me? where is my hide or fur. My serenity... My peace
species dysphoria, resonant empathy
If... it means anything to you all... If I had the power to grant you the ability to be your truest selves... to stop this hideous dissonance.... I would do so in a heartbeat
Even if it hurt me.
Even if it killed me.
even if it ended all my future cycles
There is nothing that frustrates me more than having to see suffering
and not being able to do anything to help.
Blue furries may not be blue after all.
https://youtu.be/3g246c6Bv58
kinstuff, phantom limbs
Sometimes @Silverwing ’s phantom limbs get crossed with mine and i start feeling wings or an extra set of arms.
Eh, i’m egregious postfurry right, i can easily swish it away as trying on some energy wings and/or pretty, synthetic chrome arms n.n’
*starts really enjoying the idea* oh no
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Species: Neoprene Otter (Otterprene)
Gender: Modular/Toy
Pronouns: ve/ver or they/them
Location: Halcyon <-> Seattle
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Vloelei Saleizhu [ID: HLY-2756-β]
Dreamer of many dreams and realities
Software Developer, Writer, Music Mixer and Producer, Leftist, proponent of morphological freedom, extremely otherkin and plural, and as positive as I can be.
Headmates with @Silverwing