Roady @Roady_Dragonfae@awoo.space

Wait... It's been two weeks since I last smoked a bowl... What the hell's wrong with me?

Quitting sugar is weird. Throughout the day I'm tired, foggy, and paranoid. When I'm ready to go to sleep, I'm tossing and turning for hours with no hope of catching a wink.

Oh the things I go through to clear out my system. Bringing me to the brink of insanity. But it's all gonna be worth it.

I really need to do a double take on my posts before hitting the button... My ginormous thumbs keep hitting "b" or "v" instead of the space bar. As well as other mistypes from adjacent keys.

I had an intense dream last night that involved a 14 year old getting sucked out of a plane's emergency exit, adriving at a really dingy part of Hong Kong and winding up stuck in a crumbling building.... Still trying to figure out what it all means.

The emotional stability of a rabid grizzly bear who got into Tony Montana's cocaine supply.

It's so simple, yet I've been doing it wrong for years. Through my nose. Silently. Effortlessly. Yet, my body is so used to shallow and unconscious breathing that the feeling of a healthy rhythm is akin to getting high.

That being said, I apologize in advance for continued fogginess and irritability as I continue to find my way out of every chemical dependence I've accrued over the last ten years or so.

Quit:
Alcohol
Tobacco

Quitting:
Sugar

Will Quit:
Caffeine

I'm going as low cal and paleo as I can. Fruits, nuts, veggies, meat. Very little dairy. No refined sugar or starch.

I finally concluded:
My body scales are peridot, my belly scales are yellow citrine, my eyes are emeralds, and my hair/back ridge is copper wire.

I officially start truck driver training today! I've been working my butt off for nearly six months and it finally paid off!

Holy shit. Have I already been cigarette free for almost a month? Boy did THAT fly by!

As far as group chats go, I never really have a chance to interact in them... I csn't figure out why, but I just can't find time or ways to engage.

May I be forever rid of them in favor of a bigger, better boot! https://awoo.space/media/8gIfwvgZhujsD-r1knQ

If there is one thing I need to pursue and overcome, it's the fact that deep down I continue judging myself. Beating myself up mercilessly. Internally wailing as if everything I do could bring about the end of the world. How did I wind up like this? What happened that caused me to go beyond humility into internal self flagellation?

That's up to me to figure out, and I know where to start. It's only a matter of taking those steps and continuing to explore my subconscious.

After pulling out of my dark headspace, I should start listing off things I should be thankful for.
-Achieving a promotion
-Getting PTO to see the orthopedist and get a better boot.
-Two weeks cigarette free.
Last but not least, I couldn't be more thankful to have such kind and loving people in my life. Without whom, I wouldn't be able to get my van fixed, or a roof over my head, or a ride to work. You're all truly special, and if I continue to cry, it's with love and gratitude.