Still not feeling great. It's been an emotional weekend, but that's partially my own fault for giving myself a chance to get really introspective. When I say I have life-long self-esteem issues, I mean that my life has been full, since childhood, of people telling me I can't/shouldn't be or feel the way I am. This isn't just "I screwed up once". This is "people won't let me be myself", going back to childhood. This is a deep-down wrongness. This is years and years of self-loathing that I'm having to dig myself out from, but I need to do this if I'm going to find myself.
I need to know the truth about who I am and what it means.
@Rosemary @dodec *nods*
With practice and repetition and time, it becomes less stressful and less disabling and less often disabling.