oh, cool, experiencing that thing again where it feels like my heart is skipping a beat once in a while and I can't get any decent sleep

the same thing happened earlier this year but ended up largely going away on its own during the summer. I hate that my body just randomly does things like this

sure would be nice to have any form of income or health insurance right now

not that it would really matter. back when I did have insurance, I went to the doctor seeral times for some weird inexplicable health issues, and every time they told me I was fine. like, sure, that stabbing pain in my ear that STILL rears its ugly head 10 years later is "nothing"

I hate how difficult it is to just... sleep. I am completely exhausted. I NEED a good 8+ hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep, but I'm not allowed to have that for a variety of reasons. it's too hot, my back hurts, I have sudden heartburn, I have a bad dream, I have to pee, my brain just says "nah", someone's knocking on the front door, someone's banging pots and dishes around in the kitchen, maintenance is blowing leaves at 8 in the morning, someone's sitting in their car with the radio blaring

I end up lying in bed until 3 or 4 in the afternoon, trying to eke out just a few minutes of sleep here and there, and by the time I get up the sun's going down

I can't use a sleep mask or earplugs because I usually remove them in my sleep and proceed to lose them in the sheets or under the bed