Charlotte Finn @SkunkyLass@awoo.space

I have watched people freak out about being shown that a locked account did a quote-RT on their tweet, on the basic of it being a potential harassment vector. Not a guaranteed one - just a potential one.

I feel that a feature that produces this reaction in people should be left behind on the site that's designed to make you angry and scared. Let Mastodon be something else.

TO BE CLEAR this is general background emotional sensation. I appreciate it when people wish me a cheerful holiday! It's more the cultural expectation that I have to have one or else I have failed.

So last night I had the by-now annual tradition of falling into a pitch black mood, thanks to the way things work for me around this time of year.

There's a lot that is difficult about this time of year; the cold, the terrible roads, the sun setting at 4:20 in the afternoon. But what gives it that extra little kick is the Christmas season, where I'm told I need to get into the Christmas spirit. I need to be jolly and joyous.

And what inevitable happens is, I can't. I fall short. And when that happens, I feel like I have failed, that either I have failed to let the spirit of Christmas into myself, or the Christmas spirit took one look at me and gave up. And so, failing to meet the social pressure (and it IS pressure) to be in a joyful mood leaves me feeling like a failure, which inevitably turns a bad mood worse.

I'm better now. I'm no danger to myself and others. But this season is always hard.

I don't wish any ill will on people who are big on the Christmas spirit (though I wish they'd keep it in the month of December and honor the Halloweentown Accords.) But I wish there was a little more social acknowledgement of how the pressure to be happy can lead to people feeling worse.

@Quinnae_Moon I make reference to this post quite frequently. Thank you for writing it.

@siege@octodon.social Jesus. Good luck to you all.

@jdandeneau it beat my ass in, emotionally.

It still hurts! But I made progress today. I always feel tired afterwards, though. Ugh.

There are limits as to how much I can dress up for Halloween IRL. But there are no such limits in the realm of imagination and art.

Art by ValeskArt! https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40235238/

@stevewmorris Cruises on Infinite Earths

First job I've applied to as trans. What the hell. I got only the one life.

All right, (dons worksona) time to look for a job

@Phorm It's not fun!

Good news is that it's gotten a lot thinner since I started HRT; the endo recently doubled my spiro dose and that should hopefully chase away most of the rest.

Hey, it still hurts!

@siege@octodon.social Hoo, good luck with all this.

@leask Those are, it turns out, fairly important

Draft 2 of the novel update: 4,800 words.