Suicidal Ideation, Physical Heatlh (+, surprisingly)
It's weird. When I was down, I'd all but pray for a terminal disease, so that it would spare me the effort and my family the pain of enduring the void left behind when someone loses the battle with the black dog.
But now I am at risk of developing a disease that could contribute to a heart attack or a stroke if left unchecked, and if I ignored, could kill me if left unmedicated. And I changed my entire dietary habits overnight, and I'm exercising twice as much, and I've lost a considerable amount of fat-based weight.
That story about the people who jump off the Golden Gate Bridge is true. The ideation really does leave you when it thinks it's done its job.
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If you join, at any level, you get to support us and you get these a week in advance!
Finances (-)
Getting my hours cut meant a lotta free time, but it also means that I am so, so, so Goddamn broke, and it's starting to sink in.
I bought one video game and it feels like I blew a hole in all my upcoming discretionary spending for the month. Can't get a commission. Can't go out anywhere. People keep recommending me comic books to read and I can afford a big fat none of them. Just have to shovel money at the electrolysis and keep it up because a lapse before the follicles are all the way zapped means it starts coming back.
I know I have it better than many, but fuck. Being transgender is so, so Goddamn expensive.
Furry Art We'll Pretend It's Still Friday
Art by Blackshirtboy. https://www.furaffinity.net/view/46126489/
This prompted a surprising amount of people to go 😶 as they contemplated the notion that you can be a fursona and still become the fursona, at the same time.
Oops! Sorry if anything rubbed off on you all. 😁
re: Holiday Grumps
It wouldn't bother me so much except that I know so many people who have the Christmas spirit and love the Christmas spirit and I do social activities with them involving the Christmas spirit and why can't you get into the Christmas spirit, Charlotte?
There is this pressure with Christmas that is absent in other holidays and when you can't get into it, you feel like you're doing something wrong.
Holiday Grumps
Despite having worked a decade and a half in the retail salt mines, despite having so many niblings to buy presents for that I had to budget for it several months in advance during the lean years, despite how tough it is when the sky turns endless grey for over a week at a time, I really do try to be a Christmas person.
But I've got to work extra over the next five weeks because the boss is on vacation until Jan 22nd.
Woulda loved to have time off with my Dad! I guess that is not happening. So I guess it's another bah humbug year.
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re: Medical (-)
Aright, it's not quite as bad, I can still have carrots and I can have (a little) (low-fat) cheese, so ham and swiss on rye is probably my new go-to for the foreseeable future when it comes to an easy lunch.
re: Medical (-)
Well, about 50% of my favorite foods are on the avoid list, and the other half are on the enjoy list. I guess I better really start enjoying the taste of fish!
re: Medical (-)
Oh and they recommend 5 days of exercise a week, but that's a given already, I already do 20 minutes on a stationary bike with two days on and one day off
Medical (-)
The bad news that has been delivered to me by my doctor is that I'm pre-diabetic.
I am only pre, so if I cut out refined sugars and carbs for a long stretch, as in three months minimum, I should hopefully be able to walk it back.
And if I wind up diabetic, it's not the end of the world. Still. One of those "you're 45, Charlotte, can't ignore it" things.
Anyways. I can cut candy without a sweat, but I'm going to need to research low-carb foods and how to prepare them, and that's gonna be fun fitting into my already overly fussy eating habits. But I did learn the joy of cooking this year; I'm sure there's good recipes for me out there.
re: Social Media Meta Snark
To be clear I don't have anything against Hive and I hope that they fix the issue, but turnabout is fair play 😜
Skunk lady! Writer sometimes. Numbers person other times.