PSA

When a person of color is expressing fEeLiNgS about something and it is connected to their racial or ethnic identity, do NOT chime in with a “I once dated ~one of you~ and [insert anecdote here]”

It’s unsettling, weird, and like... what do you want? Kudos for dating One Of Me? Cool, I guess

Anyways this keeps happening where I’ll talk about being an Asian person and someone will leap in with a “I DATED ONE OF YOU ONCE” and this is like the fourth time and it’s disgusting tbh

@mooncake

That's... Really really gross. And like a pretty inane response, too. Like, who cares? Are you saying dating X person makes you an expert on what it feels like to be Asian?

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this and I'm sorry this has been your experience on Mastodon.

Exactly! @Sparrow it feels like people are trying to prove that they ~understand me~ as if all Asian people are the same, have the same experiences, and we are made understandable through dating us

Fuck that. Fuck that to hell and back

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@mooncake

Yikes. At most, dating someone who's Asian will give you insight into one particular person's life, and maybe their family structure. Not insight into the amalgam of different cultures, generations, immigrant or nonimmigrant experiences, and personal histories that "Asian" describes.

And yeah, "dated" as in, it didn't work out. So this tiny insight is the absolute most they would have learned.

Agreed, fuck that.

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