@catoutofbed

Yuuupppp.

But she's like a tiny child with an intellectually disability. Obviously it's not her fault.

Just leaves me feeling all kinds of terrible.

@Sparrow
You're a good guy for recognizing it's not her fault
Really just hammers home how much culture root sin our head :\

@catoutofbed

Thanks. (Also super validating to be called a "good guy" wow hehe).

But yeah, YUP. Internalized misogyny (/transphobia, homophobia, racism, etc) are with us from a super early age.

@Sparrow
And it's really weird how hard it can be to get rid of too
Even when you know better, still there's that gross feeling
That stopped me from coming out for years

I guess at least people are starting to recognize it?
It's a good first step at least

@catoutofbed

YUP. Yup, yes, totally.

Yeah, I had a ton of internalized homophobia in middle/hs before I came out as queer. (The progression was bi->lesbian->queer).

I have an imposter syndrome-kinda feeling about transitioning, myself. Like a big part of me is worried "well is it just gender roles that make me uncomf? Just being a target of misogyny?" And like yeah, that's a part of it, but also I'm just an enboi and that's okay. *shrug*

@Sparrow
Ugh the imposter syndrome of transitioning is real bad
It doesn't help that so much of it feeds from TERF rhetoric
"well if gender doesn't mater why should I be a different gender"
"Isn't changing my gender just reinforcing them?"
"it's just a sex thing, I don't actually want this"

but fuck all that noise
this makes me happy again

@catoutofbed

Oh my god, yeah. TERFs are terrible. It's bad enough that I doubt myself so much, but here's this person that actively torments trans people for... Why? I don't even know what they get from it.

@catoutofbed

But yeah, being happy, those rare (for me, who still isn't 100% out) moments of gender euphoria... That's the good stuff. :3

@Sparrow
TERFs are real insidious
the right is way easier to ignore than someone half the left believes too :\

gender euphoria is fun though
here's to many future years of being happy with our gender~

@catoutofbed

Yeah, for real. And like half of the awesome Pagan ppl I used to work with have some TERFy beliefs, even the ones that are ostensibly progressive. They come up in conversations at unexpected times and it's really disconcerting. A lot of "sure trans people should have rights, but don't call me cis, I'm just a woman" kind of nonsense.

But... Yes. Absolutely. :D

@Sparrow
It makes it really hard to trust cis people with anything even close to gender
I'm always worried they're going to come back with something super awful and it's going to lead to bad things :\

@catoutofbed

YUP.

This is why I pretty much don't date cis ppl anymore. There are exceptions, but I mostly only feel safe being intimate with other trans people.