Sparrow 🐦 @Sparrow@awoo.space

The lighting is very good right now so... Selfie!

CW: eye contact!

I'm reading reviews for pillows, since I want to buy a good one for stomach sleepers.

Apparently some ppl are looking for "anti-aging pillows to prevent wrinkles from sleeping"... what? If getting wrinkles from your pillow is the worst of your problems, you must be living a swell life.

It's The Weekend, which means I'm staying home for today & tomorrow to save on transportation costs. I will probably go for a walk or jog later when I inevitably get cabin fever, but so far so good.

I'm so excited! I completed Week 1 of my Actually Doing Exercise plan, which means I get a reward- a new pillow that doesn't suck! Time to go research the best pillows for stomach sleepers. :D

I finally finished my taxes! Which means I can dick off for a bit before I do the dishes. :D

Good morning, folks!

I hope you all have excellent days. I wish you the best in all your endeavors, whatever they happen to be. ✨​

Anyway, that's my oversharing for today. It helps to just articulate my discomfort.

The good news is that I have health insurance, so I just need to coordinate and see what kind of mental health care I can get.

I've also become increasingly uncomfortable with my body, despite starting to work out. It's not just gender stuff. It's like I'm disgusted with being a biological organism altogether. I just feel revulsion at my fat, my skin, my internal organs, especially my sexuality. It just all feels gross.

I used to have a healthy sexuality. I don't know what happened.

I went off prosac (dose was 50 mg/day) in January.

Since then I've been *okay*, but I've noticed in the last month I'm having panic attacks again and crying much more frequently.

So... I think it might be time for me to see a therapist again.

It's been a really hard day and I just need a hug.

*Goes to wikiHow*: "How... To... Make new friends... Without wanting to throw up..."

I really want to make new friends irl, but every time I get invited to a party that isn't all ppl I already know, I get anxious to the point of nausea and can't go. :(

No, phone, you do *not* get to autocorrect "rest" to "test". That is *not* okay!!

I always forget that Gargron exists. Whoops lol.

Good morb~~

I'm feelin' very anxious today, and I don't know why! Hoooooray!

On the bright side (literally), it's sunny and nice out again. :D

I have started writing again, and am finding it equal parts exhausting and satisfying.

I wrote for just under 20 minutes tonight, and will do more in the morning.

I really need to get to sleep, which means I'll probably read a bit more of Dorian Dawes' Harbringer Island, pace the house a bit, fidget in bed, then eventually fall asleep.

I should probably go to sleep. I've been up reading about "aspie girls" for 2 hours now and I'm getting sleepy, whoops.