Nettle Briar @Ulfra_Wolfe@awoo.space

@chara And even then, I had no words for anything. There were no words for Hazel or Willow or Wight. They were just these vague images of friends in a totally different dimension I wanted to pull through the window -- and the window was the only physical thing I saw. Otherwise I was in a warm sunny playground. The window was pretty 2D.

@chara Yes.

I'm not sure I had a full ego death, but it was close enough -- when I was made a child again, it blasted away everything other than the sheer joy of experience and curiosity.

It was only my connection to Hazel and Willow that brought me out of it, and the between-state between child paradise and the real world was harrowing to go through. I felt suffocated for aeons and saw Wight's laughing cross-legged body floating in the cosmos for forever.

@chara You can approximate being real in this dimension with these rules and this way of experiencing, with this geometric plane, with your experience of time as it exists, yes.

@chara I know this much now: I'm not afraid of death anymore. Not that I'd end it myself, that would destroy everything I'm in this life to do.

But wherever you focus, there's more in the fractals, and I probably will/am/have experience/experienced it endlessly. Also felt a motherly presence twice, but very abstract. Just "mom's there".

@chara You're not real, you know. All they said about the universe being an illusion is true. We're all just projections here, living our own lives, experiencing the world, as we probably have done with countless lives with countless rules, in and out of time, who knows?

But at core we are much simpler than we seem and much more complex. With all of reality being fourth to fifth dimensional fractals; branching time & space endlessly.

@chara It's been exceedingly humbling and I understand the multiverse better now.

@chara Yup, three times. Didn't get much from the third experience. Was more a warning to watch my surroundings much more.

Painful (but not?) realization that I'm a cog in the machine, have no real power, and I hate that. Felt like I was being sliced and waiting to be fully sliced but didn't know when it was coming, didn't understand why no one was helping, and generally was kept rooted enough in the world by my surroundings to make the sensations unpleasant. But also humbling, much like the other two trips.

Can the advanced apes in the Sol system please learn how to work together and stop making divides over different skin tones and economic classes, please? We're really awaiting the time you become a Type I Civilization.

Whenever I need humbling:

Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot OFFICIAL https://youtu.be/GO5FwsblpT8

@Eldritch_Horrorgirl If there was more love and less hate, maybe the world wouldn't be so bad.

@Eldritch_Horrorgirl One of the most wonderful things to be full of! <3

The past few days have been so enlightening and healing, it's amazing