Veladynee Amaren @Veladynee@awoo.space

Hello, this is dragon.

I'm annoyed Zoloft is giving me insomnia and nightmares. Especially very vivid ones. It's a known side effect of the med, but.... Bleh. It sucks waking up and feeling exhausted, two days in a row.

I wonder if my face should be a glass panel similar in design to synths. Serving as a cockpit for crews.

Contemplating designs for myself as a spaceship tonight.

Brain is still trying to think of the aesthetics of design, as well as if I want my wings and frills to be represented as solar sails.

Paws are on the mind.

Especially big soft latex or vinyl paws.

Right on my face please.

I feel positively me-e today.

I can feel all my frills, and wings, and tail, and snout, and earfins. It feels GREAT. ^^

Realizing when it comes to otherkin discussions that deal with any unpleasant last life memories, they leave me drained for a few days, then a surge of energy, then back to general equilibrium.

In the most recent case it was a discussion with my partner on me dying last life that triggered this bit of mental fun. I so rarely talk about it I forget how much the topic genuinely fucks with me.

Maybe that means I should actually discuss it more or face it? Maybe it's due to the fact that even after all this time, between life and now, I still haven't made peace with it.

:3

I'm a simple dragon. I see dragons, I buy dragons.

To preface this, I can cook, and have been told I cook very well. It is a skill I developed over the last year as a coping mechanism to a breakup back in 2018.

My issue as of the last.... Well, while, has been lack of any sort of way to get myself to meal plan. I come up with ideas and things to cook and make them as a once off. But I never have a consistent way to make things in large portions, or to plan them out. I am extremely bad at that and convenience always wins.

I will not disclose the number amount I spend eating out or ordering in per month, but it is a lot. Not to mention the damage it is doing to me physically. Plus, the stress of indecision caused by 'What do I eat?'

The obnoxious thing about it is that if I stuck to eating only the same things over and over, my body starts to grow physically ill at the textures, which is absolutely irritating. If I could subsist off of nutrient paste, I would.

I suppose the point of this rambling is just that I am open to trying to find solutions to it, and maybe I should just stock up on lots of pre-portioned microwavable or meal-ready-to-cook items... I know Whole Foods sells such, as does CostCo, and things like Blue Apron exist. I should examine these as serious options I believe.