Veladynee Amaren @Veladynee@awoo.space

I want to be put in my place by a dominant pooltoy and treated as lesser to them, beneath them, their toy.

Also pooltoy hindpaws pinning my muzzle to the floor.

... Also maybe TFed into one for extra fun and humiliation.

Hi libido.

Today's mood: bioluminescent latex ooze dragon

Well, I ended up abandoning the sobriety thing.

Nightmares and intense dreams were too much and my anxiety was spiking up to 2018 levels.

So, back to weed. However, I am using a 4:1 vape and it honestly chills me out and nukes anxiety more effectively than my 'use as needed' anxiety meds.

Plus, sleep.

However, I am keeping it primarily to "as needed" versus a method for sleep and function every night and trying to find a nice balance with things.

And 1:1s for occasional recreational use of course.

I now have the license plate WARK.

I miss Seattle, the endless dry of the desert really hammers that in.

Pizza. Tasty. Stuffed pizza and stuffed dragons.

Been actually crawling out of my shell today to socialize. Spending time with my roommate out, meeting up with local Arizona dragons. Yesterday went hiking and spent time out with a snout I've known for a decade.

Going out seems to be good for me, and I might finally stop being as much of a hermit like I have for years... Slowly.

Excited to see my partner soon too. 2 weeks and I can just collapse in their arms for a week away from everything. I really need that.

And in turn I'm slowly discovering it's okay to actually take time for myself and treat myself well.

I've realized I've been, over the last week or so what feels like a constant state of derealization and depersonalization.

I can tell I love my partner, I enjoy my friends, and my life is generally going well but everything feels fake, far away, distant, like it isn't my own.

Does anyone else get this?

I believe it more or less manifested after my immense hypochondria issue and after I've laid off weed for a long period of time and wondering if that's the THC not in my system anymore.

It's just such a strange feeling, like constantly being in a dream.

So my HOA invited me to NextDoor which has been... An experience. My partner told me what to expect but holy hell. They were so right.

My neighborhood is literally just old rich white people bitching about the poor, minorities, and coyote sightings.

I guess I shouldn't have expected anything different.