@XerTheSquirrel I know that feeling.... and it is hard. Journaling might help. Sometimes, I just do something physical.... exercise/walk. Cooking helps a lot for me for it's a simple recipe... I can just focus on cooking. Sometimes I immerse myself in an RPG if I need to give myself some space.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with these feelings. Healing is a long process, but it *does* happen. *soft squishy hugs*