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Me: I want a device that watches over me and the people I love while we sleep. It must be capable of such keen, decisive action that even absent actual flames it can rouse slumberers early enough to save their lives. It must last a decade and cost $30.

Smoke alarm manufacturer: we understand and accept the solemnity of this request, and we have built it.

Me: now I want something that will scream like a demon every time I boil water.

Smoke alarm manufacturer: you're not going to believe this

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Zia boosted

Do you think Guy stays in Flavor Town because he too lives in fear of what he's created?

Wanda Sykes quote 

In case anyone was curious the Wanda Sykes quote: “Until a drag queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird, I think you’re focusing on the wrong shit.”

Comes from her Netflix special "I’m An Entertainer"

which got a write up here: thedailybeast.com/wanda-sykes-

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Zia boosted

Spent a lot of today thinking about how the Tina Turner I grew up with was a woman who reinvented herself and found who she was meant to be in her mid-forties, and made the whole damn world pay attention for decades. We were so lucky to have her 💖

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A lot of people have been really critical of HBO's rebranding as "Max", but I have to hand it to them about one thing: nothing makes you more excited about the renaming of a service than being automatically logged out of all your devices and having to spend over half an hour of your one and only life bouncing around broken phone apps, websites, and TV apps trying to reset your password to get in again

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Goo TF Weight Gain 

Braw Introduction

Made a goo tf that turned into a dynamic duo.
Braw the horror loving Mal-shi and Goo Boar.

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Mh 

When was the last time I was happy?

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I need more lucario content on my timeline here. Send me some lucario artists/furries to follow please ~

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Happy birthday to my husband Kodiack! 🎂🎂🎉🎉🐻🐻🐻

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I rarely, if ever, dream and almost never remember my dreams. Still, I woke up at 3 AM convinced my left arm was infected with tetanus. So, I must have dreamed?

Zia boosted
Zia boosted
Zia boosted

Pumpkin Cupcakes with cream cheese frosting @Wuskythehusky @HomobiusStrip@tech.lgbt @artfulreggie

Zia boosted

Mermaids, hot
Werewolves, hot
Fauns, hot
Centaurs, hot

The evidence is clear

Being half one thing and half another thing is extremely sexy and good

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