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finance shitpost
when you order at a restaurant, we immediately pay the restaurant the price of the meal, minus a small convenience fee for our services. once you've finished eating, you pay us the bill, with a modest interest rate that compounds as you eat. in this way, restaurants can get paid up front before preparing your food, optimizing cashflow.
the really cool thing is, once you've ordered your meal, we issue a security backed by your restaurant bill, which can be traded and speculated on while you eat!
re: finance shitpost
we have become aware that some restaurants charge up-front for their food. we have begun work on establishing a futures market for these transactions.
re: finance shitpost
we've had some reports of customers responding negatively to the interest added to their bills. we'd like to remind the public that these are vital financial instruments and it is all of our responsibility to respect their power.
also: the government has been threatening to "shut us down" for "issuing unlicensed securities". Just a reminder to everyone, several large national banks are now heavily invested in restaurant-bill-backed securities, and have warned that a loss of those assets would be disastrous to the economy.